Those Things I Said
by Evie Warner
Summary: Red and Green "got married" when they were kids. When Valentine's day rolls by ten years later, how will Red react when he finds out that people have been flirting with his 'husband?
1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:** So there I was playing FireRed, when it suddenly hit me - I have yet to write any Originalshipping. Words can't describe how appalled I was at this ghastly revelation. So here is my solution~

**Disclaimer:** As much as I wish it were, Pokémon is not mine.

* * *

**Chapter One**

XxXxX

Like any other summer's day that came before it, that particular afternoon was the bright and sunny picture of a cliché, plagiarized right from a picture book.

However, unlike those days before it, there was one small difference that set it apart from the others. Sat beside the extensive lake built specifically to home various water pokémon, two boys – one with silky black hair, the other with auburn spikes – tore chunks of bread from the stale loaf stolen from the former's kitchen into the cool water for the array of pokémon to feast upon. Both with their jeans rolled up to their knees, and their feet submerged within the refreshing depths, neither spoke a word – one pair of crimson eyes lazily skimmed over the rippling surface, the other pair of emerald were instead glazed over in thought, the pattern of tearing off irregular pieces of bread having become an automatic, almost clockwork response.

The irregularity in the scene was the absence of a third child, a blue-eyed brunette girl to be precise.

Ironically, it was her lack of appearance that gave the final push in confidence for the eldest of the two boys to break his silence and blurt out four certain words;

"I wanna get married."

The black haired boy didn't respond immediately; the other may as well have coughed for all the reaction – or lack of – that he received. He continued his motion of tearing bread, throwing one piece directly into the waiting mouth of a plump Poliwag who kept coming back for seconds. "Then get married," he replied as the tadpole-pokémon gobbled down its stale, but much appreciated snack.

Green looked down at the last remaining crust in his hands, methodically tearing it to pieces. "No, I mean .. " He clenched his hands into small fists, reducing the tatters of bread to crumbs. "I – I wanna get married .. to you."

Another piece of bread found its way into the maw of a Psyduck. "Oh," Red replied, already breaking off another chunk.

Taciturnity was Red's _modus operandi_ and Green was more than used to it by now, but that didn't make it any less frustrating when hoping for a reply that never came. He brushed the crumbs from his hands, sprinkling them into the glistening water, emerald eyes watching Red from beneath strands of auburn hair. Any other person would have demanded to know 'why', but it was rare that Red made any attempt to further, or even engage in, conversation.

"I asked Daisy why our mom and dad got married, and she said that it was because they loved each other very much, way more than absolutely anything in the whole world and they wanted to spend every day of the rest of their lives together. I told Daisy it was a really long time, and she said when you are in love, you would happily be together forever."

Something to that effect; Daisy's exact words were along the lines of 'spend every moment together for all eternity', but most other options sounded way less sappy. The last thing Green wanted was anyone, much less Red, thinking he was some kind of sickening sweet-heart in the making. He may be young, but he had his reputation to think of!

But Red said nothing, quietly leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees, propping his chin in his hands.

"Daisy said that if you love someone then you will stay together even if you die, and since .. y'know, you're my favorite person in the whole world; I thought we should get married. Then we can be together forever, just like my mom and dad."

Green stared back at the lake, a small smile touching his lips as he immersed himself within a memory; thoughts of the years they had been in his life, barely around outside of special occasions, but always together. If they had been as in love as Daisy claimed (and Green saw no reason to doubt her about anything concerning their parents) then surely there was no way they couldn't be together .. well, wherever they were now, right?

"No."

Green blinked, falling back to reality at the one spoken word. He turned to face Red, whose crimson eyes had never wavered from the lake. " .. what?"

"No." Red repeated, as bluntly as always. "I can't marry you."

And there it was, the heavy weight of rejection settling in Green's chest. He quickly looked away, returning his gaze to the water. "Oh, well," he swallowed, grateful that he at least wasn't stuttering, "don't worry, then. I just thought, you know, that we're best friends, but anyone can have a best friend, and I wanna make it special. Well .. more special, but if you wanna marry Leaf or something, then that's okay too, but I – "

"I don't want to marry Leaf."

Green had hardly noticed he'd been rambling. " .. huh?"

The final chunk of bread bonked an unsuspecting Horsea right between the eyes. It looked utterly flabbergasted for a moment before regaining its senses and diving beneath the surface to catch its sinking snack.

"Leaf does not want to get married."

For a long moment, Green stared at his best friend. Thinking back, Leaf _had_ mentioned marriage once, perhaps twice. Or rather, how she didn't need a guy to complete her, and she would be completely independent, or something of the likes. Appropriately enough her little speech had come to attention no more than a week following the day her dad moved out – her mother had mentioned the same thing once, to Red's ..

Green shook his head. This was not the time to dwell on Leaf's life choices – whatever she planned to do or not do was up for discussion when she was actually around to comment on it. "Oh," he finally said, "so who are you going to marry?"

Red shrugged as best he could in his position, reaching one hand down to stroke the top of the Poliwag's head.

This was strange. Green didn't know why he felt so miserable about Red rejecting his little marriage proposal – he'd not expected Red to really give it much attention, if he acknowledged it at all. But still, now that he had his answer he was beginning to wish he'd never asked.

It was stupid. If Red didn't think Green was 'marriage material' – as Daisy had once put it – then that was just too bad, right? Even so, Green couldn't help but inquire: "Hey, Red? Why can't you marry me?"

The Poliwag dipped underwater, swimming away into the patch of shade by the reeds. Red sat up into his original position, back straight and eyes fixated upon the water. "You didn't give me a ring."

The lake didn't leave Green's line of sight as he blinked once, twice, thrice – then he turned to stare at Red. "What?"

"When you ask someone to marry you, you're supposed to give them a ring."

Wait – what was this?

Green swallowed, forcing himself not to look away – even though Red wouldn't have been able to tell if he had. "I .. um, so if I get you a ring, does that mean you'll marry me?"

At last, Red looked up from the pond, his crimson eyes locking onto emerald as he gave a small nod.

Green stared back at the crimson irises, his own eyes blinking several times in quick succession. Not once did Red make another move, no matter how small. But then Green felt the corners of his lips twitching, and knew that even if he had tried, he wouldn't have been able to keep the smile from forming on his lips. "You mean it?" He knew Red perhaps better than he knew himself, but Green still hadn't considered, much less received an answer on, how his little proposal would have had an effect – and that was only going by the possibility that Red would even consider it.

And in response to his question, Red nodded, unfazed by the emotion that was overwhelming Green, who was on his feet barely two seconds later.

"Then I'll get you a ring," Green promised, moving backwards away from the lake as he spoke. "Wait here, I'll be right back!"

Not that Red would have had enough time to protest, for Green was immediately gone, sprinting across the green field and following the dirt path to his house, which stood a small distance from his grandfather's lab, and an even shorter distance from Red's home. It was little more than ten minutes away from the lake at walking speed, and around seven if he ran, but the surge of adrenaline racing through him from Red's acceptance meant Green was on the front porch in no more than five minutes.

He swung the front door open, making it bump against the wall and fall closed once again, the movement startling Daisy, who sat at the kitchen table sipping her afternoon tea. Before she could question his behaviour, Green had swiftly ascended the stairs and reached his destination.

Green's room was abnormally tidy for a child his age; everything had its place, barely a speck of dust touched the wooden surfaces, and the bed was always made. There was no secret to the lack of clutter, from typical childish things like partially broken toys and crayon drawings tarnishing the wallpaper, or even clothes that should have been strewn around the flooring, spilling from half-open drawers and falling from clothes hangers in the wardrobes. Mostly it was because little of that existed in the room.

Perhaps Green was an unusual child, desiring none of the latest gadgets or plush collectables that were all the rage, advertised non-stop on television. It could be that he wasn't a sentimental type. His room was generic, a bed, a wardrobe, a dresser – the basic necessities required for any bedroom – and the few more personal belongings were hidden away, each one protected as far as his seven-year old mind required to be deemed 'safe'. More than that, each one had a story to tell.

Kneeling down beside his bed, Green slid his arm beneath the wooden frame, rummaging around for one of those belongings – those treasures. His fingers grazed over the smooth wood of the object, just large enough for one small hand to pull free.

A small, mahogany jewelry box; there was nothing spectacular about it, simply the kind of box that wouldn't look out of place in most room, nothing conspicuous enough to draw attention. But like the moral of many a fairytale, the exterior didn't matter – it was what lay inside that counted.

Carefully flicking open the latch, Green lifted the lid to rest open upon it's hinges, the tiny gems inside, too many to count, gleamed in the limited sunlight that fell upon them. It seemed like the typical thing for a mother to pass on to her daughter, especially one who had been nearing her teens, but it had been Green who was openly fascinated by the tiny diamonds and precious stones, the variety of colours enough to make Ho-Oh dim in comparison.

Over a dozen rings were nestled within velvet bedding, each one as stunning as the last. Some were simple, thin bands encrusted with a few shaped crystal, others more expensive and thus far more elaborate, the stones larger and elegantly arranged, while the white-gold bands each had delicate markings etched within them.

But as radiant as Green knew them to be, he couldn't have spoken for Red.

"You don't need a ring, you need _the_ ring; the perfect ring. Some folks find it real easy, others spend months in dedication, but when you find it, you just know that it's the right one. And however long and frustrating the journey is to find it, in the end it is all worth it to have that perfect ring."

His father's words echoed easily in his mind as though the man himself were repeating them at that moment, recalling the years leading up to his happily ever after with his wife. That perfect ring had been a white-gold band, a single sapphire embedded in the centre and surrounded by several smaller, clear diamonds. Green had only seen it a few times, but he had honestly agreed it was lovely. It was much too easy to picture his mother wearing it. That same ring was in Daisy's possession, resting within her own jewelry box; it had seemed only fair to both be given something so precious to their mother.

But then Green wondered: what if none of his mother's rings were right for Red? His father had spoken of the perfect one with such intensity, Green had felt slightly nervous. He might not have the right one. Perhaps there wasn't a 'right' one? Did that mean he was not supposed to propose to Red?

Had he been wrong?

Green stared back at the rings, taking in each detail one by one. There was a simple gold one with an emerald held upon it; a thicker, white-gold one with almost a dozen diamonds encrusted around the entire band; one with a swirled design that must have taken an eternity of patience to craft, and sparkled with diamonds so impossibly tiny they must have been grinded into dust to achieve.

But it had been so easy to think of his mother wearing her perfect ring, and none of these seemed even halfway decent for Red. He doubted Red would want something overly elaborate, but Green didn't want to offer something too simple

One at a time, he picked them up to examine. They were lovely, but when thinking of Red in the same context, they paled in comparison. He slotted the last one back into its place with a sigh. Somehow it felt so wrong, the thought of giving one of these things to Red. There was no satisfaction in that mental image, as though he'd promised to give Red a Master ball but was instead presenting him with an Ultra ball. It wasn't _bad_, but nor was it .. well, Green would have always known there was something better. And he was never one to be out-shined.

In resignation, Green sighed. As long as there perfect ring was out there, he would find it. That is, if it truly existed. Which it must, right? Even if no one ever found it, there was no reason why it couldn't exist in the first place. It must at least have been very well hidden.

But then, a muted ruby gleam caught his attention, halting him mid-action as he went to lower the lid. Drowning and nearly completely hidden within the deep velvet lay one more ring, swallowed up by the material and just barely peeking out.

Green reached towards it, pinching his fingers to try and grasp it. His eyebrows drew together, his lips pressed firmly into a straight line as he struggled to pull the forgotten ring free.

Dedication paid off. After a full minute of all but tearing apart the velvet to get at the small ruby, it finally emerged from the velvet folds just enough for Green to grasp a hold of. He then easily pulled it free, holding his palm out flat and allowing the ring to tumble into full view.

It was simple enough not to be too much, yet with the right touch of design to stand out. A thin gold band with two crystals nestled side by side, a ruby and a diamond, shaped to form a minute poke ball.

His father said one knew when it was the right one, and when looking at the ring in his hand, Green immediately understood.

With a swift click, the jewelry box lid was closed and Green was on his feet the instant it was once again hidden from sight. With the ring held safely in his left hand, Green ran down the hall, descended the stairs and dashed past his bewildered sister for the second time that day.

Back outside, he sprinted towards the lake in the fields behind his grandfather's lab. The heat of the afternoon glared down harshly upon him, sweat beginning to trickle down his back and form upon his forehead. There was a stone in his shoe that relentlessly jabbed into his heel, but as unpleasant as it was, Green could not care. The long grass whipped at his legs, still partially bare from rolling up his jeans, but the lake was in full view. Other than the water-types, some of the pokémon had retreated back to their habitats in the time that Green had been gone, but Red was still there. True to Green's command, he hadn't moved and was skimming his fingers through the clear water.

His chest rapidly rising and falling as he skidded to a halt, completely out of breath, Green fought not to double over and submit to the pain of the stitch jabbing at his side. He wiped his sleeve across his forehead, ridding it of moisture as he looked down upon Red.

The overfed Poliwag sat beside him, leaning against his arm and wagging its tail in content and Red stroked the top of its head.

Green cleared his throat, though Red couldn't have been so deep in thought as to miss the other's return. "Red," he said, prompting the boy in question to look up, ceasing his ministrations. Green held out the ring in clear view, offering it to his friend almost shyly, "marry me?"

For a long moment, Red stared, first into Green's eyes, then at the ring in his hand. He could have held that gaze for only a few seconds, but in the face of judgment, the 'moment of truth' so as to say, Green felt it must have been at least several minutes before Red got to his feet, his hands cupping Green's.

Then he took the ring, sliding it over his index finger and holding his hand out to examine it as Green had seen women do on jewelry advertisements.

Only a brief moment later did a small, sincere smile grace his lips. "Okay," he said so quietly, his voice could have been part of the summer's breeze.

Green had thought it was some sappy, girly expression, but in that instant those beliefs were discarded. He felt his chest swell like an elated Jigglypuff, his head spinning and so light he felt as though the breeze could carry him off as easily as it would a Hoppip. And in that dizzying delirium, Green couldn't prevent himself as he leant forward, pressing his lips to Red's cheek.

When he pulled back, Red was no longer smiling. His eyes were noticeably wider and his pale cheeks were tinged with pink. He blinked, then stared up at Green, who smiled brightly back at him. "My dad used to do that to my mom," he explained. "And since we're married now .. "

For once, Red's silence seemed out-of-character for him, as though he simply did not know what he should do, and either couldn't or wouldn't ignore it like he tended to disregard almost everything. He soon looked away, staring down at the pond, where – Green was surprised, and a little embarrassed to discover – a sizeable audience of water-pokémon were staring up at them, beaming at what they must have identified as a courtship of kinds. Except for a few of the little ones as a Poliwrath conveniently covered their eyes, and – was that Psyduck blushing?

"Shame on you." Red's voice snapped him from his musings before he could dwell any further on them. "There are babies looking."

Perhaps it was the obvious cover-up for his flustered thoughts, or his pathetic attempt at scolding, or even just because of the euphoria of the situation, Red's words did nothing more than break free the laugh that had been building up inside of Green. And the clear displeasure glinting in crimson eyes did little more than fuel the laughter bubbling within Green.

"S – sorry!" Green spluttered, only partially honest, but the last thing he wanted was to receive the cold shoulder from Red. Last time he'd displeased Red to such a level, he'd been abandoned for a full week. "Uh, maybe we should, um .. go get ice-cream? I think Daisy still has strawberry left."

Though still a little miffed, Red visibly perked at the idea of sweets, especially on such a hot day. But when Green went to walk away, he was barely a few steps ahead when he realized Red wasn't following. "What's wrong? Do you want to stay here?"

Red pursed his lips, crimson eyes boring into emerald. "If we're married now, then that means you have to hold my hand when we go places."

In the face of what was either a challenge or a request, Green could only stare. His lips parted and closed a few times, but as no sound came out, he quickly decided against a verbal response. Uncaring of the intention of Red's words, Green was back at his side and gingerly took Red's hand in his own.

Offering no words of confirmation or denial, Red gazed at their intertwined hands, then gently squeezed Green's. Unlike his own, which were slightly damp and cooled from splashing at the water, Green's hands were much warmer and clammed up with sweat.

Red had never let Green – or anyone – hold his hand before, but it honestly wasn't bad. It was rather nice, in fact.

Green was making little effort to keep his smile from showing, and squeezed Red's hand in return, all but skipping on the return trip to his house. Red followed silently at his side, all the while keeping a firm grip on his husband's hand, and offering a perplexed Daisy no more than a second glance as she watched the two walk through the kitchen like that.

Closing her mouth and shaking her head, Daisy decided she'd rather not ask questions.

XxXxX

"You aren't married, dummies."

They were on the back porch of the lab; Red was quietly putting the final touches on the chalk masterpiece he'd etched into the wooden planks – Green had recently abandoned the time-demanding task after Red had slapped his hand for the fifth time when he'd tried to pick up the blue chalk – and Leaf was sitting cross-legged on the grass a small distance away, making daisy-chain necklaces which were much too fragile to endure even her careful handling. When Green had made the announcement of his and Red's nuptials, the mangled, flowery mess had fallen from her fingers into her lap as disbelieving blue eyes looked up to meet his.

"Yes we are, I asked him, he said yes, and I gave him a ring," Green elaborated. "Of course we're married." In as much sense as they could be, of course, as even Green wasn't naïve enough to believe his 'marriage' to Red was 'legal and binding' – whatever people meant when they said that – but did 'official' technicalities matter when they truly meant it?

Leaf rolled her eyes, clearly frustrated with him. "No you aren't. You're _engaged_, there's a difference. If you want to be married you have to have a big ceremony and exchange vows, promise to stay together forever no matter what. You're so stupid, Green, everyone knows that." As she'd worded it a few months prior in a well-rehearsed voice: 'your existence is to make Slowpoke seem intellectually desirable'.

Thus the childish argument was _on_.

"But we know we'll be together always, so there's no point," Green insisted. He bit down on his tongue when he caught Daisy putting down her book from where she sat on the garden swing, overlooking the trio of seven-year olds.

"No, she has a valid point, Green." Daisy interjected herself into the conversation. "Whether or not you mean it, you can't be married without the vows. The ceremony is a choice, though."

Leaf smirked smugly. "See?"

Green glared at her, his lips firmly pulled into a frown as he then turned it towards his sister. "Well, it's not like we're married for real, so it counts."

"Oh? And since when do you content yourself with doing things half-way?" Daisy teased, a tell-tale gleam in her emerald eyes. "This could be a great opportunity; you could get married properly, exchange vows and rings, have a nice little ceremony – "

Green quickly protested: "No way! Weddings are _boring_, don't you remember Mr. Elm's?"

"That's _professor_ Elm now, Green. And if I recall correctly, it was a delightful get-together. Hardly my fault you fell asleep before the fun began. There was dancing, and cake, and she had the most beautiful white dress – "

"We're both boys, we don't wear dresses. And we're doing this our way, so we don't need a wedding to be married."

"Oh, that's such a shame." Daisy looked at Leaf with a mournful expression. "Do you suppose they will offer to refund the wedding gifts we bought?"

For a fleeting moment, Green's eyebrows rose, before falling back down as he shook his head. A frown reappeared on his features. "Quit lying, Daisy. We only just told you, so there's no way you would have a present."

"Oh come now, Green, it's traditional to give presents to the newlyweds. It would be like a birthday, only they'd be given to the both of you to share. You tend to be able to choose, as well."

Green's eyebrows came together marginally, but his lips remained shut.

"Weddings can be whatever you like them to be; it doesn't have to be a big white affair. Remember cousin Cyan?"

Vaguely, but Green nodded anyway.

"You were only a baby at the time, but when his parents married; his father was determined to make it a memorable occasion. He didn't think through the planning, though, bless him. The celebration was great, before his village in the Sevii Islands became one drunken party for the remainder of the week, that is. Unfortunately it was all poorly timed enough to intercept with the local Caterpie mating season, and the less said about _that_ the better." She shuddered dramatically, setting her book down on the empty seat beside her.

Green's eyes widened slightly, lighting up as realization struck him. "Is that why Gramps won't let bug pokémon in the house?"

"No, that's why he won't allow Tangela in the house." She quickly raised her hand to halt any further questions Green might have on the matter. "Again, the less said about it, the better. I'm not going to be the one to corrupt your innocence."

For a few moments, Green was conflicted, but ultimately let the matter drop. There were more important things to deal with, after all. "Whatever. Why do we have to get married your way, anyway?"

"My way? Oh no, Green, I'm just following tradition to make sure you two are properly married in the eyes of Mew." She then added quietly, "As though Gramps would allow it any other way."

Green huffed as Leaf giggled, and folded his arms over his chest. "What would we have to do?"

When Daisy's innocent smile morphed into something far more devious, Green sincerely regretted having ever informed anyone of the news, with or without her present. "Just leave that to me, little brother, and the two of you shall be married by the end of the afternoon."

"I thought it takes months to plan a wedding?" Leaf interjected. "That's what my mom said – and that it's the most stressful time of a woman's life."

"Usually, but this is me we're talking about. I perform miracles," Daisy replied. "But first things first: who is going to be the bride?"

"Red," Green quickly decided before anyone could say otherwise. Red shrugged, still immersed in his chalk drawings and clearly uncaring either way.

"No way!" Leaf protested, abandoning brushing the daisy petals from her skirt to place her hands on her hips. "Green should be the bride."

Green scoffed. "No chance. Besides, I'm taller than Red." As though that solved everything.

Daisy rolled her eyes. "Such stereo-typing," she muttered.

"Green should be the bride, it's only fair." Leaf went on. "My mom said that the bride is always the most beautiful person in the world on her wedding day, and Red is _always_ pretty."

In light of this 'logic', Daisy's emerald eyes glittered. "You mother is absolutely right, Leaf!" She clapped her hands together, standing up tall. "It's decided: Green, you will be the blushing bride in white."

Mild shock at the development combined with the implication of Leaf's words sinking in kept Green occupied enough to prevent him from protesting earlier, but at his sister's words, Green's eyes blazed. "What?! There is no way I am going to be a bride, _or_ wear a dress."

Daisy gentled thwacked the back of his head. "Oh hush you, get in touch with your feminine side once in a while, won't you? It's healthy. Now Leaf," she turned towards the younger girl, "why don't you take our handsome groom upstairs to get spruced up for his big day? I'll help the beautiful bride squeeze into her gown."

As Green spluttered in his abysmal attempt to form words, Leaf saluted his older sister and skipped over to Red, taking hold of his hand and leading him inside. Red's lack of protest certainly didn't help matters. Only when he found himself swept off his feet and carried inside by Daisy did Green find his voice;

"Daisy! Put me down! I'm not doing this, you can't make me!" He protested loudly, struggling to break free of her abnormally strong grip.

Unfortunately, years of dealing with his tantrums meant that avoiding Green's punches and kicks had become something of a sixth sense to Daisy. "I think you'll find, dear brother, that you will and I certainly can," she replied calmly.

XxXxX

"Green, if you keep squirming you'll get lip gloss all over the collar of your outfit. It leaves quite a nasty stain; you don't want to look sloppy on your big day, do you?" Daisy tittered patronizingly, unaffected by the death glare she was receiving from her oh-so angelic younger brother.

"But it's sticky and it tastes horrible!" He protested, wisely choosing to fold his arms instead of wiping the icky stuff from his lips with his sleeve – when Daisy glared at you, it wasn't a threat; it was a promise. "Why do girls wear this stuff? You said it was meant to taste like strawberries."

"I say a lot of things, Green. What you lack is the imagination. Now hold still or I won't be held responsible for turning your behind into a pin-cushion." She punctuated her sentence with a sharp slap to his butt, but Green's protest died in his throat as he caught sight of the needle held between Daisy's index finger and thumb. She lowered it, burying it into the white material wrapped around his upper half, and opting to avoid giving Daisy a legitimate chance at skewering him, Green promptly shut up. "There we are. See how much quicker we're getting through this now that you're taking my words of wisdom to heart?"

Although that did not mean he would stand by and allow her to belittle him in her subtle sisterly ways. "You're the one who wanted to make a dress – which I _don't_ need!" He snapped sulkily, scowling at his reflection in the nearby mirror. The 'dress' in question was an abomination Daisy had insisted on creating, and Green had only ceased squirming to take the difficult task to an impossible level when Daisy had threatened to let Chansey take over. The normal-type may have typically been a happy-go-lucky pokémon on any given day, but she had zero tolerance for disobedient seven year olds. Thus obedience equaled safety, as begrudgingly as Green could admit it.

"Don't pull that face, don't you remember those stories? If the winds changes it'll freeze like that. It would be most unfortunate. Although it might help boost Victreebel's self-esteem if we had a total gonk walking around. It'd be nice to make him feel more attractive in his own body."

"Gramps promised me that was just a myth."

"Sweet, naive Green, when have I ever lied to you? And no, that wasn't an invitation to start counting the non-existent ways," she added as he began to do just that.

Green sighed – or huffed, really. "Are you nearly done?"

"Patience, patience! Goodness, haven't I taught you anything? You won't get anywhere in life by complaining about it. The only way you can reach your goal is through hard, honest work."

"But you're the one working, and I don't want a dress! Can't I wear something else?"

"Absolutely not! Frankly, I'd rather find out how Muk reproduce than allow you to walk down the aisle in anything other than the best hand-made attire my skills and sewing box will allow. Now unless you have something to say that doesn't involve whining, then shut your little mouth and let me work in peace."

Green rolled his eyes, defying the order by muttering under his breath: "Like I'd ever look halfway decent in any rags you could put together – ow!" He clapped a hand to the back of his head, right where Daisy had thwacked him with such casually timed aim only she could perfect.

"Them's fightin' words, Green. Don't think you'll ever be able to get anything past me, even when I'm more than a few feet away from you. If you'll be so kind as to remain quiet for as long as I demand it, then this should be done in ten minutes, tops."

Green scoffed, flicking a stray strand of hair away from his eyes. "You said that twenty minutes ago," he grumbled.

"Yes, I do recall that I did. I also distinctly remember how you refused to listen to order and in your haste to rid yourself of my masterpiece in the making, you tore a sizeable hole right down the middle." She tutted, shaking her head in a mocking gesture. "Whatever shall I do with you, hmm?"

"Why are you making me wear this abomination, anyway? I feel so stupid .. " He mumbled, not attempting to stop himself from pouting - maybe it would gain him sympathy points.

"Green, if you knew the first thing about fashion, then you would know that this 'abomination', as you were so tactful as to name it, you would be aware that the correct name for this is 'yukata' and it is, in fact, not a dress." She wrapped what Green could only assume to be an abnormally large red ribbon around his waist, pinning it up at the back, and giving the 'yukata' (if Daisy's words were to be believed) a little more shape. Well, it no longer looked like he'd cut holes in a white sheet and thrown it over his head, at the very least.

Of course, any minor happiness just had to be sort-lived. He winced at the high note call of "Daisy~!" that reverberated from down the hall, followed by soft, rhythmic thumps against the carpet, sounding very much like someone was skipping towards the room.

"Almost done, Leaf, just a few more minu – Green! What did I tell you about staying still? You'll rip it _again!_" Daisy scolded as Green leapt down from the stool he'd been forced to model on, dashing across the room to hide behind the door, snagging a needle on his arm. A thin trail of blood trickled from the small cut, earning an annoyed groan from Daisy. "If you're that embarrassed you could have at least warned me," she muttered, grabbing a tissue from a nearby box on the dressing table and pressing it to the cut. "If I didn't love you so much, you'd be able to experience first-hand the amount of damage I can do with one little pin."

"Daisy?" Leaf called out again, this time her voice accompanied the door slowly being pushed open. "Are you ready yet? We've been waiting ages, and I – ah!" She shrieked as Green slammed the door shut, staggering back several paces. "Green, you idiot! You almost crushed my hand!"

"Yes, Green, you almost crushed her hand." Daisy mimicked, covering the small gash with an appropriately-sized band aid. "Is this how you intend to treat those you share a mutual trust with? Because if so, someone should warn Red exactly what he is getting into."

Perhaps Green didn't possess the natural level of talent Daisy had at mimicking an Arbok's Glare attack, but just because he couldn't make a Tyranitar cower in fear didn't mean it wasn't effective to a certain degree. To anyone besides Daisy, that is, who had nonchalantly chosen to continue her task of sewing together the white material while her brother was determined to strike her down with emerald-green laser beams of the non-existent kind. "I am _not_ letting her come in here while I'm dressed like this," he growled – a near-perfect imitation of a Growlithe. "She'll take pictures and laugh and show them to everybody! You said you loved me, so why would you let her do that to me?"

"Because Leaf is the little sister we never had. And if you won't let me humiliate you, then someone has to keep your ego from inflating to a record-breaking degree."

"You're just evil."

"We females have powers you mere men cannot hope to understand. Don't anger us and we'll hold back on the whole 'ruining your life' thing. Deal?"

" .. only if I can take the lip gloss off."

Daisy sighed, and rolled her eyes. "Fine."

The confirmation was barely spoken by the time Green wiped off the icky, sparkly stuff with the back of his hand - Daisy could at least be glad he didn't get it on the sleeve. "Why did I have to wear that, anyway? It's nasty."

"Because it will make your lips soft and thus much more appealing to touch. No one likes to kiss someone with chapped lips."

" .. what?"

"Now don't tell me you didn't expect this? 'You may now kiss the bride' – that whole shebang? Goodness, Green, how much do you know about wedding ceremonies?"

"I don't know. Mr. Elm's was so boring I fell asleep, remember?"

"Oh, Green .. well, I suppose all there is to do is educate you in the time we have left. Now, it's perfectly straight forward: Leaf and I will be witnesses, you and Red will exchange vows, then rings, then you'll both kiss. And yes, then Leaf and I will leave you both alone. Wouldn't want us to interrupt the honeymoon, would we?"

Green scowled, but said nothing. Daisy took the opportunity to put the finishing touches on the homemade yukata whilst outside, Leaf whined, "Daisy? Are you guys done yet?"

"You and Red go get ready - remember, the groom cannot see the bride before the wedding."

Leaf's giggles were barely heard over the sound of Green grinding his teeth together. "Okay!" She chirped, the soft thuds resuming as she skipped back down the hall.

His glare was barely enough to intimidate a Clefairy, but despite the futile nature of it all, he continued to direct it at Daisy. "I hate you," he grumbled.

She patted his head nonchalantly. "Of course you do."

XxXxX

* * *

**Author's Note:** You see, this was supposed to be a one-shot. But I ended up having far too much writing this and so ended up with either a one-shot that has over-stepped it's boundaries, or a little fic to be divided into several chapters. I chose the latter. It's kinda cute that way.

I'm also exhausted. I should take a nap.


	2. Chapter Two

**Author's Note:** Really don't know what to say right now .. which is unusual for me. Oh well.

**Disclaimer:** Nope, Pokémon still ain't mine.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

XxXxX

Green was nervous. And not good nervous - he was trembling from head to toe, his head light and his hands clammed up. This was over-doing it to the extreme; when he'd proposed to Red, he'd expected .. well, no more than what he'd received on that day. If that. But this?!

"Don't be so jittery, this will be fun," Daisy had insisted. "Just promise Red you will love and protect him for as long as the both of you shall live, give him the ring, then let him kiss you - and yes, he has to kiss you. If you don't, then that is pretty much saying 'I don't love you, I don't even know why I've strung you along this far. Maybe I'm just a heartless jerk', and I know you aren't that cruel, Green."

It was just one big guilt trip. Blackmail, in fact. Of course Green loved Red, why would he have proposed otherwise? But no, Daisy was insistent on going through with this stupid, boring ceremony. She was probably bored. Yeah, that must have been it - she was in full on, cruel big sister-mode. Damn her.

Leaf was loving every moment of his humiliation. It would have been admirable that she had yet to collapse into a fit of hysterics, but the unbelievably smug, patronizing grin she was permanently giving him was grinding his self-control to its very limits. A Wobbuffet would have been proud of his restraint - he didn't even have the Counter attack that went with it.

Nonetheless, Green was standing in the middle of the living room, enduring the scrutinizing stares of two girls while wearing a white abomination Daisy had literally sewn onto him, his lips tinged with the syrupy aftertaste of 'strawberries', and he just knew Leaf was hiding a camera somewhere, waiting for the right moment to strike.

And to add the final insult to injury, Daisy wasn't hiding the fact that she was relishing her younger brother's discomfort. "Leaf, your signature goes here," she said, tapping the tip of her pen to the dotted line on the paper she held. The paper which would become Red and Green's official marital license and had been printed out a little over ten minutes ago - minutes in which Green had been forced to suffer Leaf's mute mocking while 'the ink dried', as Daisy had claimed. Oh how considerate was she ..

"So, right here?" Leaf expertly twirled the pen in her fingers, deliberately drawing out the moment for all it was worth. "On this dotted line near the bottom?"

Green closed his eyes, adopting the technique he'd been taught a year prior - to list off the names of pokémon in times of great stress in order to hold onto his ability to think rationally.

"Yes, right there. Be careful and take your time to make it neat. We wouldn't want to smudge it, now would we?"

That traitor. As sadistic as she was, they still shared the same blood - shouldn't Daisy technically be on his side?

"I wouldn't _dream_ of it." It wouldn't have an overly negative outcome if he just hit Leaf now, would it? If it meant she would run home screaming bloody murder and leave him alone, it would be worth the inevitable trouble he would get into for it. "I'll do my best joined-up handwriting."

Oh yes, _definitely_ worth it. Green was just pulling back his fist when –

"Perfect! That's the documents sorted. Now for the ceremony."

– eh?

Any questions Green had went unanswered as Daisy grabbed his arm and ushered him out of the room and onto the back porch. His protests, however;

"Daisy, not outside! What if someone sees me?!" He covered his face, scandalized, while Daisy just waved her hand aside, as though brushing his concerns away.

"Green, none of the pokémon here are gossips. And it wouldn't hurt to have a few more witnesses, in case you decide to make a dash for it and ditch your husband-to-be."

"I would never – !"

"And here he is~!" Came that dreaded voice once again, this time from behind him. But as Green spun round to snap at Leaf, his voice caught in his throat before it was possible.

In that instant, emerald eyes met crimson. Any self-consciousness Green felt over his appearance evaporated like steam on a hot day - in fact, he was beginning to doubt being the bride was really so bad considering how the other looked. While Green was certain he looked atrocious, Red, on the other hand, was .. well, the complete opposite. His black dress shirt was roughly half a size too large, but had been tucked into a pair of now pristine blue jeans and the sleeves weren't quite long enough to conceal his hands. His hair had been in its typical ruffled state that morning, but Leaf had no doubt managed to convince Red to brush it, considering it was much straighter and fell far enough over his forehead for a few strands to brush against the tips of his eyelashes. And while Green wasn't certain, he suspected Leaf had applied a small amount of lipstick, considering Red's lips were rosier than usual.

But all in all, it was quite the transformation. Green could even go so far as to say that Red looked .. pretty, just as Leaf had claimed.

Though of course, the moment had to be broken by that dreaded voice. "I think it's safe to say 'job well done, Leaf'. Perhaps you should take up fashion design. Or next time we can trade - perhaps Red wouldn't complain so much when I try to bestow him with only the goodness of my own heart."

Green would have gleefully torn off the outfit she'd _so lovingly_ made for him and ripped it to shreds, but with a quick use of her Mind Reader ability must have clued her in to his budding threat. Any Tyranitar within a five-mile radius would no longer be a problem for generous portion of time.

"Now, you two, on to the important part – the exchanging of vows and rings." She paused. "You do have rings, don't you?"

Green winced. He hadn't really put any thought into this past "Red, will you marry me?" and even then he hadn't been prepared enough to include a ring. Not until Red himself had pointed it out. Speaking of which -

"I have my ring." Red reached into the collar of his shirt to pull out a thin, gold chain, on the end of which was the pokeball-inspired ring, glinting in the light of the afternoon.

Daisy stared at it, her previously teasing mood no longer existing. "You gave him one of mom's rings."

Green stared at her, almost in the same instant in which she turned to face him. Her face betrayed nothing, but the sense of foreboding enveloped him to the point he was dreading having ever let her know of this.

Which was largely the reason for his shock when a small, sincere smile touched her lips. "Right. So we'll just need one for you, now," she said. "I have some, wait here." Before anyone could protest, she was gone from the room. The silence she left was awkward, to say the least.

Whether intentionally or not, Leaf managed to divert attention from this. "Green gave that to you?" She crooned, examining the ring whilst standing so close to Red her chest was almost brushing against his, but made no attempt to touch the ring. She let out a low whistle. "If only you knew how to treat a girl, Green. And you weren't so bad to look at."

Green could have thought up a thousand ways to rebuke her insult, but the timing was unfortunate enough that Daisy had returned before he could manage to voice any of them. "Here you go," she said, holding out a silver ring with a small emerald. "I never wear this one, and it matches your eyes." Her's being identical, but Green was hesitant to point it out when she was in a suspiciously nice mood. He instead took the ring and said nothing. "Don't put it on yet, okay? In fact, give it to Red. And Red, give your's to Green. You're meant to put the rings on each other, but first you have to say your vows. Then you exchange rings, and then you kiss."

Green felt his cheeks heat up at the thought of kissing Red, which may or may not have anything to do with the fact that two people he did not want involved would be there to witness it. He quickly looked away from them, instead focusing on Red - though he couldn't have been certain, and was already beginning to doubt it, he thought he saw something flash over Red's face, disappearing much too quick to be identified. Or confirmed to have existed.

Silently, Red undid the clasp of the chain, sliding the ring off into his hand before holding it out to Green and sliding the chain into his jeans pocket. Green took the ring from Red's open palm, trading it for the emerald one.

"Now hold hands."

He should have expected something like this when mentioning 'Red' and 'marriage' in the same context while within earshot of Daisy, yet it still made him feel as though a Charizard were breathing down his neck.

Leaf's delighted giggles did nothing to help. "You're so _red_, Green."

"Quiet, you." Daisy covered Leaf's face with a couch cushion, which failed to stop her giggles, though it did muffle them. "Now, you two, say your vows." At the quizzical looks she received, she elaborated, "You know, promise to love and protect one another until the end of time itself, things like that. But only if you mean it, otherwise Arceus will frown upon you and curse your pitiful, mortal lives."

It was remarkable how Daisy could word such a sentence in a voice so dismissing, yet have the after effect that suggested she'd start activating Electrode bombs she'd hidden around the house. And as a bead of sweat trickled down the back of his neck, Green became very much aware that he was standing on his back porch pretending to marry his best friend, while observed by his sister and sometimes other best friend - likely the only two people who didn't find it strange enough to even raise an eyebrow. He wasn't certain how much of a positive that was.

Biting down on his lower lip, Green looked up almost shyly to meet Red's gaze. To the untrained individual, Red seemed as emotionally stunted as usual, however Green had known him long enough that he was physically unable to miss the subtle signs Red gave off. The pink hue in his cheeks that he'd normally have to squint to be able to see, and the shimmer in his crimson eyes that hinted words he wouldn't say. The few signs that told he was no more willing to be in that situation than Green, who was glad he wasn't alone in his embarrassment.

Tentatively, Green took Red's hand in his. He knew his palms were clamming up and Red would be able to feel him trembling slightly, but the sooner it was over, the better.

He took a deep breath. Daisy said that vow were about love and protectiveness. Right. He could do that. Easy.

"Red," he inwardly rejoiced that his voice was steady, "I, um, don't know how much I should say, but here it is: you're my favourite person in the whole wide world. I've liked you ever since the day after me and Daisy moved here, when you gave me cookies because I was so bored with this town. You never really spoke to me that much, and you still don't, but it's okay, y'know? Cause I like talking to you because I know you listen to me. And, uh .. I think I'm supposed to say that I will protect you, but I don't think there's any point because you're not scared of anything, so maybe you're the one who is supposed to protect me, or something .. but I will protect you if you ever need me to, because I don't ever want you to be scared or hurt. And I'll do everything I can to help you - unless we're battling with pokémon because you know I'm always gonna kick your butt in those." He paused to inhale as deeply as he could, his words having come out as little more than a jumbled mess. "I said we should get married because I wanted to be with you forever, and I still do. If we were the last two people left on earth, I wouldn't care. I'd be happy because I would be with you, and we would be together always. You .. you make me feel safe and brave and loved, and no matter what it takes I'll do my best to make you feel the same way all the time. Because you deserve to feel that way. Even if all you want is for me to make you ice cream for breakfast, then I'll do it. Or if you want me to find you a shiny Mew, I'll do that, too. I don't care what it takes, and I don't care what happens when we're older, I promise I will always be there for you, and I will always love you. Because it's true, Red; I love you."

Green couldn't muster enough energy to be embarrassed that his little speech had almost left him gasping for breath like a Magikarp out of water. Not just because no one seemed to notice or care, either.

Red was staring at him, his eyes uncharacteristically wide and his mouth slightly open. His crimson stare was fixated on Green, who was almost too nervous to look away. But when Red remained silent, his expression unchanging, and his eyes seemingly unable to blink, Green shifted nervously. "Was that okay?" He asked quietly.

"That was _perfect!_" Daisy exclaimed, clapping her hands and bouncing on her heels like an overly enthusiastic Wigglytuff. By her side, Leaf's gaze was flickering from Green to Red, her vocal chords refusing to function properly. "Green, why wasn't I informed that you could say something so sweet? It almost makes me wish I wasn't your sister just so I could marry you. And I think you deserve bonus points for making Leaf cry."

The petite brunette was instantly shocked out of her stupor. "I am _not_ crying!" She insisted, shielding her face from view with the cushion Daisy had thrust in her face minutes earlier. "Anyway, it's Red's turn now - go ahead and get this over with. Green was right, weddings _are_ boring."

It would have been the perfect opportunity to tease her, but she was barely a passing thought in Green's mind. He gently squeezed Red's hand, bolstered by his own success. They may have been words right from the top of his head, but once he'd started, it was surprisingly easy for the right words to flow. Especially when he considered how he felt about Red.

Who, on the other hand, seemed to be having a little more difficulty in finding _any_ words. He was fidgeting slightly, his head lowered slightly as he looked at Green through strands of black hair, but quickly focused on their hands instead when emerald eyes met crimson.

Finally, he cleared his throat quietly. " .. okay," his voice was barely a whisper. "I will do that stuff, too."

Leaf tsked. "That's cheating, Red. You have to tell him - "

"I don't care, Leaf,"Green interrupted, offering an encouraging smile to the now visibly blushing Red, and too caught up in the knowledge that 'officially' they would never be separated. "But, um .. now what?"

"Now you two exchange your rings," Daisy instructed. It was simple enough in theory, but made much more difficult in practice by two sets of sweaty, trembling hands and delicate rings.

Moving carefully so as not to drop the ring, Green managed to fit it onto Red's index finger. He kept his own hand as still as he could manage while Red repeated the action to him, sliding the emerald ring onto Green's index finger.

Daisy seemed torn between intertwining and pointing out the correct finger for the ring to go on and simply going with it, but quickly vetoed the former thought at the sight of both boy's smiles. "And last but certainly not least, you may now kiss the bride."

And there it was, the tremble of nerves up his spine, the sudden feeling where his body did not seem to want to co-operate with his mind's demands.

Ugh, stop, Green!

He mentally scolded himself. _Just do it on three, okay .. one, two, three!_ No sell. _You didn't do it!_

But then he jolted slightly as he felt Red's hand graze over his cheek hesitantly, his own fingers trembling slightly, but with enough steady movement to give Green the impression Red more or less knew what he was doing. He took a deep breath, all too aware that there were others nearby, but any time to dwell on it as Red moved forward, their innocent lips touching.

Green felt every muscle in his body seize up, his eyes wide whilst Red's were shut tight. But despite the shock, Green hesitantly pushed back against soft, lipstick-tinted lips, tilting his head slightly so his nose wouldn't collide with Red's.

He let his eyes close. He let himself forget anything else existed aside from him and Red. For a moment, it was just them.

Only a moment, though. A flash of light, visible through closed eye-lids, and a tell-tale _click-whrrr_ sound jolted Green enough to abruptly pull away from Red, stepping back and staring in the direction of the light and sound.

Leaf tore the small square of paper that had been ejected from the Polaroid camera in her hands, her entire face alight with fiendish joy. "I got it!" She giggled, waving the developing photo above her head as an enraged Green made a lunge for her; only for him to be quickly caught in mid-air by the other girl Green swore in that moment to never _ever_ trust anything to ever again!

"Tear it up! Burn the pieces!"

"Sorry, Daisy, I have to go home now. Mom said I had to be back ten minutes ago."

Daisy smiled sweetly. "No worries! I wouldn't want you to get into trouble, especially when you've been such a big help. Have fun now!"

Returning a smile of her own, Leaf spun on her heel and skipped away, her hair bouncing against her shoulders and the photo held securely between her index finger and thumb; it remained in clear view until Leaf herself vanished out the front door.

Green groaned in resignation. "Daisy .. " He would have unleashed Thrash attack on her, had she not chosen that moment to let his feet reconnect with the ground; Red's hand found his a moment later, pulling him away from his sister. "Red? What are you doing?" He asked, as the black-haired boy led him away from the house and a still smiling Daisy.

"On our honeymoon." Red replied simply.

Green blinked. "Our honey - " He caught himself before finishing that sentence, closing his mouth and shaking his head quickly. "Red, do you know what a honeymoon is?"

Seven-year old logic locked away within the minds of two innocent boys rose to prominence.

All in all, Red shrugged.

And despite the still-fading humiliation, an equally clueless Green had to laugh.

XxXxX

The next few months of 'married life' passed in bliss. In truth, those days weren't much different from any other, aside from the fact that Green was now open about holding Red's hand in public. Leaf had the biggest mouth in Pallet Town – secrets were forever spilling from her lips – so naturally, within a few days, everyone who listened knew about their small town's newest couple. And as much as Green had originally dreaded it, the secret getting out had turned out to be a relatively positive thing; in the first two weeks barely a day went by without someone coming up to him and congratulating him on 'getting hitched', as some of them had put it.

Of course, the initial high of it all had died down after those two weeks, and had all but vanished by the end of the month. Occasionally they drew some "aww's" whenever Green did anything remotely romantic with Red in public – holding his hand, and sometimes kissing his cheek – but it was much more tolerable. By the time the second month had passed by, people barely looked their way in their moments of innocent intimacy.

Near the end of the third month was when Leaf brought a new subject to arise.

"Are you guys going to have babies?" Two pairs of bewildered eyes looked her way, and she chose to elaborate: "My mom said that when people get married, they have babies, but only if it's a man and a woman who get married – she said two boys or two girls who get married can't have babies 'the natural way'." Her pretty features hardened into a slight scowl. "She wouldn't tell me what that means, though – she said I'm not old enough."

Green sat up from where he lay sunbathing on the grass to shuffle back and lean against the large oak tree they had gathered around. Their 'tree of memories', as they'd christened it, after years of being forced to 'enjoy the sunlight' by their parents, they'd sought shade beneath it to prevent their skin from burning to an unpleasant shade of pink. More than once they'd attempted to build a tree-house, but once again logic was against them, with Red being the only one who had been able to climb the trunk and reach the nearest branch, only to lose his balance and come crashing down moments later. If a Ditto had bones, then the poor thing – who had been cheerfully minding its own business – would have been crushed with the impact of inadvertently cushioning Red's fall.

Still, while their attempts to build a home away from home had failed miserably, the tree itself had still managed to become their hang-out spot. More often than not, they were joined daily by a gathering of smaller pokémon, though from the trio's knowledge, the Ditto had never returned.

"No way," Green determined. "Babies are icky – they smell, they cry, and don't _do_ anything." Though by turning his head slightly to the right, he noticed the subtle frown on Red's face. "Wait .. do you want babies, Red?"

The black-haired boy had his own group of friends to entertain, including the Poliwag he'd won over with treats long ago. The tadpole pokémon sat comfortably on Red's lap, blissfully enjoying the ministrations of Red's hand against the top of its head. Red himself remained silent in light of the question, but his shrug was enough of an answer as Green need.

"Oh jeez, you do, don't you?" Green winced at the unwelcome image that came to mind, of some squirming pink baby, unleashing a deadly Screech attack that battered down Green's already worn defenses. He wasn't prophesizing the distant future, was he? "Well, like Leaf said, we can't."

Of course, Leaf felt the need to deny it. "No, mom said you can't have babies 'the natural way' – whatever _that_ means," she muttered as a brief after-thought. "But she said people who can't do that can adopt a baby instead."

Red, who had seemed rather darkened in his mood, immediately looked up in light of Leaf's words. He remained paused in thought for a moment, before turning to look at Green.

"Uh, well, I .. " Green stammered, trying to swallow the lump in his throat that refused to go away. "We don't have to do it now! My parents didn't have me or Daisy 'til they were a lot older than us. Neither did yours, or Red's."

Leaf scoffed. "So what? They didn't get married 'til they were way older, either. Besides," she was practically bouncing with anticipation, and in perfect sync with the Jigglypuff by her side, "it could be fun!"

"Babies aren't fun, Leaf!" He protested, ignoring the glare his words earned him from the Pichu perched atop her head.

"They aren't so bad when they aren't crying – they laugh and play peek-a-boo, and it's so cute!" She giggled. "My cousin Violet never cries, so she's always fun to play with." She reached up to pet the electric mouse clinging to her hair. "And yes, so are you."

The Pichu seemed satisfied with her reassurance, while Green rolled his eyes. "You're saying babies are fun when they don't cry?" He asked skeptically. "Nu-uh, I don't buy it."

Leaf gave an overly-theatrical sigh. "You're an idiot, Green. No wonder Slowpoke tried to run away when it saw you. At least they're cute, and smart enough to know when to get out of a bad situation."

"Well I'm not the one who fell asleep with my hand in the lake and spent the rest of the day with a Shellder biting onto my arm."

In an instant, Leaf's bored expression became one of outrage, her cheeks flushing a violet shade of red. "That was _one time_, you - !"

However, what would have rapidly evolved into a physical attack from both children onto each other was immediately quenched as they both, in quick succession, received a face full of a Water Gun. Surprised shrieks from both accompanied them both falling back, Pichu tumbling from its perch atop Leaf's head and angrily shaking its fur dry before storming off towards the child who was still completely dry.

"Okay," Leaf spat, her eyes blazing like blue flames beneath a drenched brunette fringe, "_who was responsible for that?!_" It was mildly impressive how she managed to make a few of the youngest pokémon edge back nervously, despite knowing full well that the girl's physical violence was always reserved for the eldest of the two boys. Still, the knowledge didn't hurt her image. Green was debating the pros and cons of inquiring how she managed that, when she spoke again. Well, more like growled, "_You_."

Appropriately enough, her fiery blue stare was directed solely upon the blissfully uncaring Poliwag in Red's lap, still soaking up every last bit of attention the black haired boy was bestowing upon it. But of course, unawareness of a dangerous situation Poliwag had awakened would not protect it - when a man awoke a sleeping Salamence, nonchalance would get him roasted.

Fortunately for the water-type, while Green's Glare attack left much to be desired, his Follow Me was superb. "Leaf, you're scaring the little ones. Halloween isn't for months, so quit tormenting them and take that Grimer off your head."

While Leaf's Glare turned out to be much more impressive, Green found he was easily able to keep his ability to move – perhaps he was developing Ground-type characteristics? "You're the one who looks like a deranged Muk on the best of days. But I don't think that's anything new, now you look like a swamp monster," she snapped, looking surprisingly intimidating whilst her face was half-hidden by her hair.

Yet years of growing up with a world-famous Professor as a grandfather was paying off. "Technically, isn't Muk a swamp monster? You're basically saying there isn't any difference." And to add as much insult to injury as he could, Green shot her the most patronizing smirk he could muster – his long since perfected Taunt attack. "And you say I'm dumb. I think I found your reason to exist: someone has to make Magikarp look good before they evolve."

Thus her Bullet Punch reached its target. Complete with an ear-drum shattering battle cry.

If Green's childish pride would have allowed it, his first choice would have conveniently been Defense Curl. However that young pride of his leapt to the first 'logical' conclusion - to not let himself be beaten by a girl, no matter the consequences. With a trusty Low Kick, Leaf went crashing to the ground – enemy Leaf flinched!

Barely scrambling to his feet, Green prepared for a Body Slam attack - but enemy Leaf used Roar – !

– or something to make Green freeze in _mid-air_. Something that in all terms of human biology couldn't have reasonably been because of the vine currently coiled around his waist. Not unless Leaf had defied the laws of biology and full on evolved into a grass-type. Like the Venusaur the vine was attached to .. _both_ vines were attached to, if he were to account for the second vine that had hoisted Leaf into mid-air, too.

This was a direct violation of the official League battling rulebook!

"Hey, put me down!" Both children complained in perfect unison - though the revelation of which went unnoticed by both.

The Venusaur, who had been at least pretending to sleep up until that moment, lazily opened one eye to observe the separated children.

"Venusaur, put us down!" Leaf protested, kicking her feet wildly and unsuccessfully attempting to prise the vine from around her waist. "Let me wipe that smug smirk off his face, or better yet, break his ugly mug right in!" With her town-famous Focus Punch.

Well, as long as he was safe .. "Leaf, shut up. You're making the kids cry." Green scoffed at the irony. "And you think I'd be a bad father."

Leaf halted her struggling, possibly realizing the futility of escape, and stared at him. "You need to do it sometime, Green. Or are you too scared?" She smirked at him.

"I'm not scared of anything, Leaf," he retorted. It was a lie, they both knew it, but it didn't mean Green would admit it.

Leaf folded her arms, unimpressed. "Then prove it," she challenged. "Red wants a baby, so why won't you let him?"

"He didn't say he wanted a baby! Besides, you're only meant to have them when you're grown-up, like our parents!"

"You probably still won't do it then, will you?"

Green scoffed. "Please, I'd be an awesome dad."

"Oh yeah? Then prove it. Now is a good a time as any."

Green would have thrown one of the many come-backs he'd thought up back at her, when a noise nearby diverted his attention.

Retaining his disinterest at the daily argument, Red stroked his fingers along the length of Poliwag's tail, eliciting a delighted squeal from the tadpole-pokémon as it bounced in his lap.

Green could almost hear the _Eureka!_ reverberating through his head, the epitome of a perfect solution coming to him at that very moment. "Okay, then, I'll do it. I'll do it right now," he said, refusing to acknowledge Leaf raising an eyebrow skeptically. "Me and Red will adopt Poliwag."

There was a slight pause before Leaf threw her damp hair over her shoulder, frowning at him. "You don't adopt pokémon, Green."

"Why not? Poliwag is cute, fun and doesn't cry – he's perfect!"

Leaf was a moment away from protesting, when a small, barely audible sound cut her off, transforming her frustration to shock. As Poliwag beamed up at Red, the black haired boy giggled, almost too quietly to be heard. Blue eyes widened to comical proportions.

Green turned back to her in triumph. "See?" He couldn't restraint himself from smirking at Leaf's expression, which was beginning to resemble a beached Magikarp. "What did I tell you? Poliwag is perfect!"

Closing her mouth, Leaf quickly shook her head. "I, um .. fine. You win. Poliwag is your new baby. You would have been a terrible dad anyway," she grumbled. Her words were ignored.

Well, almost. "Don't worry, Leaf, I'm sure Victreebel will consider letting you adopt him. The resemblance between you two is uncanny – I don't think anyone will know he was adopted."

If Leaf had been just two feet closer, her Fury Swipes would have landed a critical hit.

XxXxX

There was the occasional situation, few and far between, when Green and Leaf had gotten into a particularly violent scuffle, usually resulting in Green sporting a new, purple bruise by the end of the day – for the record, it totally wasn't fair how _he_ had to be the one who was apparently 'fragile as a Togepi' while Leaf seemed to have skin as tough as a Golem's. When those fights happened the results generated were typically identical each time: a twenty minute lecture; followed by both of them being grounded for a full week, during which they'd be told constantly that their freedom would be granted if only they could swallow their pride and offer an apology.

Green occasionally debated when the 'all-knowing' adults would eventually see reason and give up trying.

On the other hand, there were even fewer times, roughly the ratio of finding two shiny pokémon in succession, where Green's disagreement would be with Red. The main difference in such moments narrowed down to two things: the damage done, and the ultimate result.

When he fought with Leaf, it was mostly two minutes of insults followed by violence until the nearest adult spotted, and promptly separated them. With Red, any disagreement of theirs didn't mean something as petty as punches and kicks to anything of the other they could reach, it was much more effective. To put it simply, they knew each other's weak spots – Green would pierce straight through Red's stoic armour and strike his heart, but Red could bring Green's emotional shields down with just one look. That one look of utter betrayal that had a greater effect that having a Scizor clamp its pincers down on Green's own heart.

If Green's vocal chords co-operated with him, then he would be lucky enough to apologize, and sometimes it was effective enough to make Red stay long enough for Green to pull him into a hug. Other times were much more common, where Green's physical limits would be staring blankly while Red quietly walked away, never looking back.

Green knew he could be cruel, and he was aware that any attempts he made to change his attitude for the better were non-existent. He also knew that Red never spoke of what happened between them. He could easily have told his mother, Professor Oak, or even Daisy the general gist of what Green had said in order for the older boy to be punished for life. But he never did, and as far as anyone was concerned, they were just two best friends who'd gotten into a pointless argument.

"Boys will be boys," Red's mother would say on those occasions, and Professor Oak would agree. Perhaps they saw no reason to worry since they knew how fervently Green worked to earn Red's forgiveness – that in the end it would all work out. Or maybe it was the 'typical guy stuff' Leaf had told them about, and how she was lectured because physical violence wasn't 'lady-like' whereas it was expected of boys.

Whatever it was, Green didn't concern himself with it. Yes, he could openly admit he wanted to hurt his two best friends when caught up in the heat of the argument, and most of the time it was out of pure spite. But that didn't mean he was willing to damage the friendship they shared. They argued now and then, but as mad as Green could be with the both of them, and vice versa, he valued them both more than anything.

Losing them just didn't seem like a possibility.

"Okay Poliwag – Water Gun!"

With as much force as he could manage, Green threw the stick, sending it soaring between the thicket of leaves and branches that cast the entire forest in shade.

As eager as always, Poliwag was immediately in the air as high as his under-developed feet would allow, a jet of water shooting from its mouth and missing the stick only by an inch.

"I'll throw it lower this time, 'kay?" Green offered, flicking his bangs from his eyes and watching Poliwag hop about to show its agreement. "Hey Red, pass me a stick!" A moment later, the requested object landed at his feet. "Thanks," he replied, picking up the stick and taking aim. "Ready, and .. Water Gun!"

Not being half-hidden by leaves did wonders for Poliwag's accuracy, and the Water Gun struck its target.

"That was great!" Green cheered, beaming as the tadpole-pokémon seemed even more elated at the praise. "You rock, Poliwag!"

A delighted squeal escaped the water-types pink lips, it hopped up and down as high as its underdeveloped feet would allow.

"Okay, let's do it again! Red?"

Half a chocolate-chip cookie was tossed with expert aim, landing directly into Poliwag's awaiting mouth.

"Red! If you keep doing that, he'll get so fat he won't be able to move," Green complained, turning towards the black-haired boy as Poliwag gleefully chewed its treat.

Red merely shrugged, calmly breaking off another piece and tossing it in Poliwag's direction once the water-type had swallowed.

Green groaned, dragging his hands down his face. "He's supposed to be learning how to fight, Red! How else is he supposed to battle?"

Again, Red shrugged, but found his wrists held in a tight grip before the third cookie half could become air-bourne.

"Why did you bring those, anyway? Your mom was mad last time you fed that whole pie to Poliwag." He then paused, slowly turning to face Red. "How did you get out of that one, again?"

A gentle trill came from near his feet, and when Green looked down at the source, his eyes fell upon Poliwag nuzzling against Red's leg, gazing up at his adoptive 'father' with large, innocent eyes.

Mystery solved.

Green raked both hands through his hair, sighing heavily as Red gave the last piece of cookie to the tadpole pokémon. "People are gonna think our kids are Snorlax," he groaned in dismay.

Poliwag, in the meantime, seemed as happy as a Ludicolo in a conga line, bouncing about with such undiluted joy Green could have sworn the water-type was really an Igglybuff in disguise. Then again it could be something he should remember – Poliwag listened to whoever had the treats. Maybe he should start carrying cookies around for future training purposes, Green pondered.

Or perhaps he could just leave Red behind next time.

XxXxX

* * *

**Author's Note:** Why it is that I always write the first half of overly-long one-shots super fast, then end up taking weeks with the rest of it? Hmm .. eh well. I'd say two, maybe three more chapters then its done. Hurray~

I'm really in the mood for Polishipping right now. I had steamy dreams involving Red and Gold .. sometimes I really love what goes on in my head.


End file.
